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Huh.

Yeah, clucky as hell. I think what bothers me most is not that I can't have a baby right now, it's not that the time isn't right... it's that I feel like it's not "me" to want a baby in the first place. Not that I can't see myself doing it. Not that there aren't a million things I like about the idea (and, I'll grant willingly, quite a few I'm still iffy about). It's that because I've never explored the idea before, I feel like people are going to look at me like I'm crazy if we decide to have a kid or kids. Like they're going to feel like I'm not the same friend/sister/etc. as I was before because of that choice.

And I'm not sure if that's crazy or dead on.

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