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No to Maybe

So the transition in talking with my boyfriend from "never" to "maybe" to "if we do decide to-" style planning has made the cluckiness worse. I'm forcing myself to stay rational, and it gets hard some days. I want. And sometimes the want threatens to overwhelm the need. We need to wait. We're not in horrible shape by any means, but we need to keep doing the paying down of debt that we are doing and get more savings going before we think about a kid. We need to do some of the vacationing and stuff that we haven't been able to do because of the debt. We need, in other words, to make sure WE are okay before we add in another party.

But all the logic sometimes doesn't hold up so well when for the first time ever I was disappointed to get my (two day late) period. I felt so silly. I felt like one of "those girls." Not saying there's something wrong with wanting a kid badly by any means - please don't think that's what I'm saying. I just always thought that there was something zany about girls who freaked out when they got their period or who stopped taking their pills to get knocked up. It scares me that I can see where they're coming from, I guess, since it's a very new frame of mind for me.

Have no fear, though, I am dutifully taking the anti-baby pills and don't intend to get pregnant until the time really is right.

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